Joe Rossi
Eng 102
Cline
November 12, 2011
Codependency and Vampires
We all may have a little vampire inside of us whether we know it or not. In Interview with a Vampire it is very obvious to see that vampires are very codependent. We can all assume that just by knowing that vampires live on human blood. And yes you can argue and say humans are codependent on food, but the point I am making is that not only are they dependent on human blood but the vampires in Interview with a Vampire also long for a relationship among others and two of the vampires actually try to change their blood sucking habits and start relationships. Vampires symbolize codependency because without the human blood they would go hungry; they can make due with animal blood but are so codependent on human blood that they can barely survive without it. A lot like humans we feel we are so dependent on having a relationship that without that significant other we feel we can barely hang on.
Codependency can be looked at both good and bad. We can say that we as humans are codependent on food which is true, without it we could not live. But there is also a codependency in many relationships that are not healthy. Having to rely on your mate or significant other is not how relationship should be. Being codependent does not just happen between couples or married couples, it also happens in any relationship. It could be found in a parents and children, or sibling to siblings. Codependency is making yourself a sacrificial lamb to the needs of other people. “They are the people whom the narcissistic emotional vampires - of both the aggressive and passive types - feed upon. They are set up to think it is normal to have someone sucking the life blood out of them - constantly draining them energetically and emotionally." (Burney) Many people will say, “Well she’s my mother” or “he’s my father” I have to take care of them. According to Burney,
“The fact that they are our parents does not mean we owe them the right to abuse us. Does not mean we have to sacrifice our lives for them. Their codependency may cause them to believe that they sacrificed their lives for us - but like all unconscious codependents they were acting out of ego selfish reasons. We do not owe them some debt we "have to" pay back to them at the expense of sacrificing our self.” (Burney)
This is the perfect example of codependency reversed on people. In this instance the codependent person is really the parent but the adult child doesn’t see it because they believe that they must care for them at every waking moment, because it’s their parent. There is nothing wrong with taking care of your parent; what’s wrong is when that individual takes advantage of you. That can happen in any relationship. In Interview with a vampire two of the vampires regret ever becoming one because they didn’t get to enjoy life like the humans; they were past the point of wanting to live off human blood, so they decided that they were going to kill their creator. They were so codependent on sucking the life out of other people and never getting satisfied. Many relationships also have that same problem Due to the way some of us were raised we become this dysfunctional self and rely on others to satisfy how we feel. “…it is vitally important to become clear in our emotional process and to change the reversed attitudes that we had to adopt to survive.” (Burney) If you were raised in household that forced or brought upon you to be codependent causing it to be in our belief system, then doing anything else would be looked down upon and cause you to feel shame, when really we should out attitude toward these different life experiences and start our own journey discovering who we are as independents. Burney goes on to share,
“…If a vampire came up to you and told you that he would die if you didn't allow him to drink your blood, most likely you wouldn't have any problem telling him no. In our codependency however, when we do not know how to say no to other people, how to have healthy boundaries, we are set up to react to - and swing between - the extremes of the black and white, 1 or 10 spectrum of codependent behavior. Those extremes are: to build huge walls against connecting with other people - which sets us up to be emotional anorexics; or to offer ourselves up as sacrificial lambs to the type of codependents that are overt emotional vampires.” (Burney)
We can look at Vampires and know that they thrive off human blood. But when we can people as vampires in relationship we can go much deeper and suggest that there are different types of Vampires among us. There are three different types of energy sucking vampires.
1. Passive-Aggressive
2. Victims
3. Drama Queens
Let’s look closer at type of energy sucking vampires in detail. Passive-aggressive people tend to come off very weak and helpless, but need to feed off you every time and may not even be aware of what they are doing. They make you feel bullied into doing stuff for them; like playing the guilt trip on you. And of course they will say “isn’t that what friends are for?” obligating you into doing something for them. These types of people are usually very lonely and so you don’t figure out what their real intentions are, they generally say what a great friend you are and will tend to get little gifts for you and special thank you cards. This keeps you around until they need something once again. (Green)
The next vampire comparisons we can look at are the “Victims”. These types of people go from one sob story about their life to another. They believe that they are the victims and it is never their fault, as though they are also dealt the bad cards. What is draining is the fact that you can’t get through to them because they won’t take your advice and to them they are the masters of the situation, not you! Victims tend to be broke and don’t want any recommendations for jobs, all they want are handouts. (Green)
“Drama Queens” are last on the list as codependent vampires. These types of people love drama and can’t go without starting drama in their own relationships and other peoples relationships. Most of them also love to talk about themselves and will go on for hours. (Green) They will make you believe that they have a problem so you are obliged as a friend to listen to them, yet the fact of the matter is they most likely have other contacts or friends to tell their drama too.
These are just three types of personalities or traits some people possess that are signs of codependency, that life sucking trait that vampires can’t live without. In conclusion we know that vampires many objective is to suck life out of humans and drink their blood. Many things that people do is that form of a vampire, the life sucking feeling we get when we are being used by other people. Just like in Interview with a Vampire the two vampires who wanted real friendships and to be like the humans wanted to eventually change their habits and traits, and most of the time we can look past a lot of our friends and family who possess these codependent traits and love them anyway, but the main objective would be to help them and show them how to be independent and start living their own journey and be self-sufficient.
Sources Cited
Burney, Robert. Codependence, the Dance of Wounded Souls: A Cosmic Perspective Of Codependence And The Human Condition. 1995. Web.
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Green, Sonya, ed. "Reinventing Myself." Energy Vampires. N.p., Mar 2008. Web. 12 Nov 2011. .
Rice, Anne. Interview With The Vampire, Book 1 Of The Vampire Chronicles. New York: Ballantine Books, 1977. eBook.